Lil Wayne is suing Cash Money Records
for $51 million. This is not that great of a turn of events. Wayne is
responsible, at least in part, for the label becoming
an irrepressible
part of rap history, through his own discography and through Drake and
Nicki Minaj’s discography. (But not through Tyga’s discography
— definitely not through Tyga’s.) So Wayne suing the company feels very
heavy and sad and low and like a big, bright signifier that Cash Money
will never be the same again. He’s trying to wiggle out of his contract —
he has openly berated Cash Money since last year, and maybe that’s
because the label started housing acts like Limp Bizkit and Bow Wow, but
probably it’s because his album, Tha Carter V, has been
repeatedly delayed. I don’t know. Who knows. Not you. Not me. I do know
this, though: It’s an emotional response to the situation. So this is
Emotional Heat Check: Lil Wayne.
A heat check
is (mostly) a basketball term. It’s used to reference a shot attempt,
specifically a difficult one attempted after a handful of easier, wiser
shots have been made. Think on it like this: You make a layup, then you
make a wide-open midrange jumper, then you make a wide-open 3-pointer.
That’s great. Those are smart shots. You’re feeling very good about
yourself and all the decisions you’ve made in life that have led you to
that point, so the next time downcourt you receive the ball and then
chuck up a 29-foot fadeaway. That’s the heat check. You are literally
checking to see if you are figuratively hot. If you make it, you shoot
again. If that goes in, then you do it again. And again. And again.
Until you miss. Each make becomes exponentially more exciting and
intriguing and more of an accelerant.
That’s what this is, except it’s an emotional heat check instead of a
basketball one, and instead of a basketball player it’s Wayne, and
instead of shot attempts it’s a response to a situation. Here’s his
chart:
He’s not that great at emotional heat checks. He’s the Josh Smith of emotional heat checks, probably.
At the Rim: 0/1, 0 percent
This is the time he rapped, “I got a knife in my pocket if there’s a
fork in the road,” but really it’s for all the goofy, nonsensical Lil
Wayne lines we’ve all had to absorb since he rapped his brain into mush
during his superheroic 2006–08 run. If he was the greatest during that
time frame (and it’s very likely he was), then he’s in the same stage in
his career right now as Muhammad Ali. It’s all very sad to watch.
Straightaway 3: 0/2, 0 percent
1. This is the time he wore those leggings. He wore them to the 2011
MTV VMAs. I thought it was cool. He looked like Carrie from Sex and the City. But then I remembered it’s probably not so hot of an idea to dress like someone from Sex and the City if you’re not actually on Sex and the City. This was a miss, though I certainly appreciated the shot attempt. Nobody gets ’em up like Wayne.
Note: Miley Cyrus wore a similar pair of leggings the year before.
There’s maybe a connection between her and Wayne wearing the same
clothes and then Wayne slowly morphing into an SATC character and Miley slowly morphing into whatever it is she’s morphing into.1 It’s like one of those Freaky Friday switches, except more racist, probably.
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